Shopping Therapy

There is something about seeing
those red shoes through a glass window
That tinge of joy as I picture
the size 7.5's perfect fit
And the 3.5 inches added
to my short vertical frame..
Closer to heaven I feel
Closer to the land of bliss

There is a whisper of relief which comes
and breaks all chains of misery
From a week full of hard toiling
and late nights with data files
When I see the golden clutch purse
on the silver coated sledge
Waiting for the meeting of our hands
Waiting to be taken home


There is a soothing sense of calm
which spreads through my body
At the soft touch of that silky scarf
as it wraps around my neck
And I forget but for a moment
a week, a month or two
Of how the days have been scornful
and the nights unending too

Wouldn't you feel a ray of joy
at the sight of the happy shoppers?
Wouldn't you see a fashionable tomorrow
when those jeans fit just right?
Wouldn't it seem like a fairy tale
when you find the right pair of shoes?
Wouldn't it be rather timely
When the sale is dreamily right?
Wouldn't the world be more colorful
when the flowered dress dazzles on you?

There's something about this feeling
that I really can't explain
That though it may only cost me
a dollar, a shilling or two
The walk, the sniff, the touch
the fit and company too
They bring a sense of newness
its therapeutic, I must say.

If I Could,

I would wake up before the morning dawn
And paint a smiling face on the orange of the sun
Just like it looked in my nursery school color book
That when you wake up from the pain and strain
The sun’s smile would carry you through the end of the day

If I could,
I would create a garden in the universe above
Where green vegetables and pretty fruits alike
Would thrive and vine all the year round
Such that hunger you will never ever know again
For like manna from heaven,
There always would be a surplus

If I could,
I would erase the tears from your motherly eyes
As you walk miles and miles to find a hospital
For your little angel dying in your arms
For there would be no sickness to fight off your energy
But a permanent smile, just like the sun at dawn

If I could,
I would protect all the women battered every end of the day
I would drop down my wings of armor around each vulnerable child
I would soften the heart of each man and woman alike
That in place of hatred there would be love in abundance
In place of war there would be peace transcending
In place of lies there would be truth and honesty
In place of death there would be life in plenty.

If I could,
If only I could
I would I would I would
Yes I would
And so to pray I will not cease
For that day when could would be.

Insomnia His Product.

Tonight, dead in the night
Yesterday, the day before
A week, a month, years
Ago
Sleep has grown legs
And walked away,
Leaving behind,him
Dominating, my
Thoughts, my heart
 My sleep.


I can feel the spring of my bed
I can hear the little animals
Talking, whispering, biting.
I can see the darkness around me
I can touch it
Silence, cracking, AC running
The world's asleep
Dead.
But I am living
Lifeless, but thinking,
Of nought....
 he dominates my thoughts.

But I do not want to think
No.
Please be gone!
Sleep, please cut off your legs
Because,
I want to forget
I want to be thoughtless
But I think, think, sleepless...
Is he thinking of me as well?
While wrapped up in his sleep
Is it I, dominating
His heart, His thoughts
His sleep....?

Sleep, did your legs lead you
to him, instead?
Did you take the warmth from me
to him?
And dreams..., dreams..., dreams...
Dreams that I have no longer...
Just thoughts, dominating
And Sleep has grown legs.

If I cut off my head,
Would he be gone?
If I opened doors and windows
of my heart,
Would he finally escape?
Like Sleep, he has grown legs
Yesterday, weeks, months, years
 Ago.
But he dominates
My thoughts, on and on and on....

 Tell him to stop!
Please, Sleep
Tell him!
I can give him that pleasure
No longer.
For he has grown legs no longer!
I have cut off, today,
His legs, my thoughts, my head
Your legs...
Sleep, please.
Stay with me.

The Facebook Affair: Zuckerberg, the Undefeated Winner

Once upon a time, today, there lives a rich young man …the kind that my girl friends and I joke about, and term as ‘the ones that can earn more than we can spend…’ except that for this young man, I am a major player in the creation of his immense wealth. Technically, I should own some major share of it; me and you both. We make him even richer, every second, every minute that we spend in this new world that he has created for us, this world called Facebook….

It is estimated that 400 million people have earned their right to be citizens of this new world, by virtue of being 13 years (?) or older and possessing the simplest computer literacy among other non-requirements. Wow, is all I can say. 400 million! I mean, that is more than the population of the United States at 300 million, and many many times over the population of my dearest motherland, Kenya, which boasts only about 39 million citizens....

Mark Zuckerberg, is this young genius. The thought of him makes me want to collect all my picture albums, all my notes, all my status statements (which he owns by the way), and shut off Facebook from my life, forever... all because I envy him. I mean, why did I not ever think about such a genius idea…maybe it’s because I am not a genius, I am a struggling graduate student. Kinda sucks. And to make it worse, his little devil charm has gotten into me, like it has many of you…I cannot seem to stop visiting this world, I do not want to give up my citizenship (Hi my name is Sheran and I am officially a facebook addict)... and Zuckerberg remains a 25 year old genius, whose billions I help to multiply, each second, each minute, I spend walking its streets and climbing its walls…..

It is not quite Pandora, James Cameron wouldn’t exactly agree with that…but somehow, Zuckerberg has managed to get quite up and close with most of us who are citizens of his world. His world has all the freedoms and rights we can ever imagine…the freedom of speech, the freedom of expression, the freedom of possession and famously, the right to stalk other people. Somehow, he has managed to convince most of us that we can speak openly of our affairs in this new world…we can tell our fellow citizens when we are sick, when we are sad, when we are happy, when we are engaged, married, had our first baby, got baptized, lost a loved one, broke up a relationship (he even has an icon for this) achieved something big in our lives, everything! And many of us have bought into this because we think that it is the Zuckerberg world; he is the genius and must know what he is doing, so why not?

See, I am mostly a very clueless person where people’s affairs are concerned. I never dig too deep for gossip…and so I never know anything about anybody unless they tell me personally….In high school, I was the last person to know when some juicy story just happened, even when the story entailed my own classmate…if there was a hiring then, I would make an obnoxious detective. But with Zuckerberg came free flowing information…My oh my, I can’t tell you how much I learn about people on Facebook! It is a good thing, such that I am no longer very clueless and have a better chance at getting the detective job, but it leaves me baffled at how much indiscretion goes into it. Some things could honestly use a little imagination, or at least, be expressed in private using THE INBOX. The reason why we feel obliged to reiterate a private phone conversation on a Facebook wall, doesn’t settle in my head well. Evidently, we subconsciously live in two separate worlds, but I am starting to think that some of us live 80% of our lives on Facebook, which I am not sure it is such a good thing, but Zuckerberg doesn’t mind at all.

Would it be so selfish if I would wish that my sweet potato, that honey bunches of oats that I haven’t met as yet, would be wholesomely disinterested in becoming a citizen of this world? And if he must be, would it be remotely possible to not be connected to him by a click that welcomes us both into the Zuckerberg’s world? The Facebook relationship is probably one of greatest PDA I have ever encountered, while we openly claim that we hate PDA (lying to ourselves). The pressure of showing the world that it’s all vanilla and sugar in our affairs would probably suffocate my little world, but again, maybe it is only because my honey bunches of oats is not here as yet. I would hope though, that even when he arrives, my profile in the Zuckerberg’s world would be that, mine. At least this one thing! I mean really, it’s my profile and then his picture…? Sounds lame to me, but as the older people always say to us young folks “one day, I may understand”. And maybe then, Zuckerberg would love me even more and agree to give me a millionth of his wealth.

I have been thinking about my existence in the Zuckerberg world for a while now and how much time goes into travelling back and forth; from my real world into his. He has done a great job of getting me connected with my old buddies, bringing to light what was done in the dark, and getting me enlightened each day by some of the amazing and uplifting quotes I have read from people’s status. Additionally, he has managed to put a smile on my face when I receive a nice message on my wall on my birthday and other occasions, plus keeping me updated on what’s going on around the globe, thanks to the news junkies who do not mind to share their best breaking news clips….But he has also left big question marks in my head, such that every time I want to write a status statement or post a picture or a note, I have to ask myself, what are my intentions? Who needs to know that I visited the doctor? Pity party, really? Oh yeah, I'am angry, sad, stressed, who cares?…Chances are the people that would care to know such things probably already know by virtue that you are connected quite well in this other world, the real world., among other thoughts.

So the bigger question remains, is the only way I can stay connected in my world, through the Zuckerberg’s world? Are my intentions to become the gold rewards citizen in his world? Whatever your intentions for becoming a citizen of the Facebook world may be, I would stick to using some discretion as we saunter through its streets and climb the Facebook walls…Lest we get lost into it, and never come back to the real world, which is what you should be doing now i.e back to being a graduate student, Zuckerberg needs to clock out.